Sweep The Leg…

So everyone knows what the biggest sports event of 1984 was right? Damn right you do, it was the epic karate battle between Daniel Laruso and Johnny Lawrence. Well, thankfully the good folks at ESPN have put together a 30 for 30 to commemorate the event. Sort of…

The Art Of Mort Künstler

Here’s some more incredibly manly paintings for you rugged bastards!

From Design You Can Trust

Mort Künstler is best known today for his vivid paintings of scenes from American history, specifically the Revolutionary War and the Civil War. These works have been featured in books and calendars, and spotlighted in exhibitions around the country.

Less known is Künstler’s early work in men’s adventure magazines, a unique genre that populated newsstands from the 1950s through the late ‘70s. Also known as “men’s sweats,” because most covers featured a sweaty, shirtless guy facing some type of peril, scores of adventure titles vied for a reader’s attention with eye-popping headlines such as “Death Orgy of the Leopard Women” and “Weasels Ripped My Flesh!”

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

I love this series.

  • DROPPED COMPUTER TABLET WHILE TRYING TO GET OFF TOILET; PENIS LACERATION
  • SOMEONE STEPPED ON A RAKE AND ITS HANDLE STRUCK HIM IN THE TESTICLES
  • PATIENT STATES TOP OF 2 LITER COKE BOTTLE PLACED AROUND PENIS WHILE SLEEPING, PATIENT HAD BEEN DRINKING, UNABLE TO REMOVE
  • HALLUCINATING THERE ARE SNAKES IN SCROTUM SO HE RUBBER BANDED HIS TESTICLES SO THEY DON’T ESCAPE; METH ABUSE
  • TESTICLE PAIN AFTER SITTING & PLAYING VIDEO GAMES FOR EXTENDED TIME

Happy 2019, bastards!

Movie Crush Podcast

Not sure how you bastards feel about podcasts or which ones you fancy, but I’ve gotten into this one pretty hard in the last few days.

Movie Crush is an interview show where Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know sits down with your favorite people to talk about their favorite movie. Simple enough, but what we get is much more than that. It’s a look at what makes a favorite thing, and why someone’s favorite movie says so much about who they are. More conversation than interview, Movie Crush, at its heart, is about the love affair we all have with the silver screen.

About the Host

Chuck is the co-host of the long-running Stuff You Should Know podcast. Born and raised in Atlanta, he spent time in New York and LA working in the film industry before returning home and eventually starting his career as a podcaster. Since then, SYSK has grown into one of the biggest podcasts in the world and Chuck has found himself as an “accidental” veteran of a new medium. In his spare time, Chuck likes to hang out with his wife and daughter and play in his “old man band” El Cheapo.

Recently, Chuck’s co-worker Casey joined him for a three part series on the genius of Stanley Kubrick. He and Chuck dive deep on Casey’s pick for part one, The Shining. Hit play and settle in …

I’m From Hollywood, I Have the Brains

Andy Kaufman began wrestling women as part of his stand-up act and then decided he wanted to get involved in professional wrestling. By the way, I remember seeing the above video clip on our local Saturday morning wrasslin’ program after spending the night at a friend’s house. Hilarious now, but as kids, we didn’t think the taunts were so funny.

Y’all probably know all this already, but here’s wiki-wiki-Wikipedia to tell the whole story about Kaufman’s feud with Jerry Lawler …

Kaufman initially approached the head of the World Wrestling Federation, Vince McMahon Sr., about bringing his act to the New York wrestling territory. McMahon dismissed Kaufman’s idea as the elder McMahon was not about to bring “show business” into his Pro Wrestling society. Kaufman had by then developed a friendship with wrestling reporter/photographer Bill Apter. After many discussions about Kaufman’s desire to be in the pro wrestling business, Apter called Memphis wrestling icon Jerry “The King” Lawler and introduced him to Kaufman by telephone.

Kaufman finally stepped into the ring (in the Memphis wrestling circuit) with a man—Lawler himself. Kaufman taunted the residents of Memphis by playing “videos showing residents how to use soap” and proclaiming the city to be “the nation’s redneck capital”. The ongoing Lawler-Kaufman feud, which often featured Jimmy Hart and other heels in Kaufman’s corner, included a number of staged “works”, such as a broken neck for Kaufman as a result of Lawler’s piledriver and a famous on-air fight on a 1982 episode of Late Night with David Letterman.

For some time after that first match, Kaufman appeared wearing a neck brace, insisting that his injuries were much worse than they really were. Kaufman would continue to defend the Inter-Gender Championship in the Mid-South Coliseum and offered an extra prize, other than the $1,000: that if he were pinned, the woman who pinned him would get to marry him and that Kaufman would also shave his head.

Eventually it was revealed that the feud and wrestling matches were staged works, and that Kaufman and Lawler were friends. This was not disclosed until more than 10 years after Kaufman’s death, when the Emmy-nominated documentary A Comedy Salute to Andy Kaufman aired on NBC in 1995. Jim Carrey, who revealed the secret, later went on to play Kaufman in the 1999 film Man on the Moon. In a 1997 interview with the Memphis Flyer, Lawler said he had improvised during their first match and the Letterman incident.

Although officials at St. Francis Hospital stated that Kaufman’s neck injuries were real, in his 2002 biography It’s Good to Be the King … Sometimes, Lawler detailed how they came up with the angle and kept it quiet. Even though Kaufman’s injury was legitimate, the pair exaggerated it. He also said that Kaufman’s furious tirade and performance on Letterman was Kaufman’s own idea, including when Lawler slapped Kaufman out of his chair. Promoter Jerry Jarrett later recalled that for two years, he would mail Kaufman payments comparable to what other main-event wrestlers were getting at the time, but Kaufman never deposited the checks.

Hey Ladies

Because I want the new Beastie Boys memoir.

Hey ladies in the place, I’m callin’ out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There’s more to me than you’ll ever know
And I’ve got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
I date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
And I’m always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
Wheelin’ and dealin’ I make a little bit of a stealing
I’ll bring her back to the place and your dress I’m peeling
Your body’s on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there up on the ceiling
Such and such’ll be the bass that I’m throwing
I’m talking to the girl telling her I’m all-knowing
She’s talking to the kid (who?) to the kid, to the kid
I’m telling her every lie that you know that I never did
Hey ladies, get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies
Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers, said welcome back Kotter
We was cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her, please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain’t nothing but a crab
Educated no, stupid yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
I’m not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge
I’m Adam and I’m adamant about living large
With the white Sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin’ love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
‘Cause I don’t kinda go for that messin’ around
You be listening to my records’ A number one sound
Just step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride
I’ve got an open mind so why don’t you all get inside?
Tune in, turn on to my tune that’s live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive
Hey ladies, get funky
(Girls, girls)
Ain’t it funky now?
(Ain’t it funky now?) well, you know that
She got a gold tooth you know she’s hardcore
She’ll show you a good time then she’ll show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear
Call her in the middle of the night when I’m drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it’s stinking
Said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window ’cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the six train
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
Sucking down pints until I didn’t know
Woke up in the morning with a one-ton ho
‘Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like she’s number one
(She thinks she’s the passionate one)
Hey ladies, get funky
Good god
(I like that polyester look)
Dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
(Hey you know, I ‘d really love to do your hair sometime)
Ain’t it funky brother?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey ladies

Big Jim, Big Jeff, & Dr. Steel

Is it me, or were these toys incredibly homoerotic?

Exhibit A, the copy for this commercial …

The incredible Dr. Steel!
You’ve got Big Jim and Big Jeff hacking ‘cross the land
Stopped cold by a gleaming hand
Of the incredible Dr. Steel
With rugged face and strange tattoo
You make him break a bar in two
Make Big Jim and Big Jeff strike a blow
Is he friend or is he foe?
Get him drunk and make a pass
Take him in the alley and pound that ass
Of the incredible Dr. Steel!