Category: Make It Stop

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Loathsome Thursday

Meet Loathsome Thursday, the dark step-sister of Catchy Tuesday. We all get confronted by songs that seem fiendishly calculated in all details—dumb melody, bone-headed lyrics, sappy production, cloying singing—to send us into a sputtering, incoherent, lunch-throwing, china-smashing rage. “Wildfire” is one such song for me. Note that YouTube comments are turned off, so I’m not alone, although I will note that other postings have plenty of “greatest song ever written” comments. I will also note that this song was included in Dave Barry’s excellent Book of Bad Songs, where it was pointed out that a killing frost is a light dusting that will kill your tomatoes but not obscure the ground. No one ever “got lost” in a “killing frost” who would not also get lost in July.

I’d love to hear what songs rankle you bastards. Sometimes everything I’ve heard by certain acts gets under my skin. Jimmy Webb (who gets called a genius), Dave Matthews, Michael McDonald, America, John Mayer, The Captain and Tennille…and many more no doubt. A special chamber of horrors gets created when those people cover each other. The Captain and Tennille’s vile minor hit, “Muskrat Love,” was originally by America. Just execrable.

If you enjoy any music or artists I’ve mentioned, please do not take offense, and please continue to enjoy them. The opinions expressed herein are my own and not necessarily those of Los Bastardos Reunidos Media Holdings, LLC.

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Hard Pass

Confession… I’m a bit of a horror movie nerd, and I actually like some of what Rob Zombie has put out there. This… this looks awful. I can’t believe that people gave him the go ahead to drop $30 million to produce this. Go ahead and watch this trailer, and let me know if you think this guy ever makes another “film.”

 

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There Will Be No Encores

I’ve recently begun making a cautious return to seeing live music again, and I’ve come to realize something I guess I never cared enough to think about before: the encore is ridiculous. At this point, maybe we should just collectively admit that and do away with it. I’m not saying doing an encore was never a cool idea. I like to imagine a simpler time when it was an actual, authentic gesture only granted to crowds who cheered hard enough. Just end the show and then fuck off. The people who leave prior to the encore will find a new excuse to leave early. There’s always an excuse.

You bastards who perform live every week: are you still doing encores? Is it kabuki theater?

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Yeah No Thanks

It’s funny, when I had met with Tim about it last, and we’re talking about five years ago at this point, the reason that it’s so hard to get going is because so many people love it and because there are 10 million ways to get that sequel wrong and four ways to get it right. It’s such a very fine needle to thread that I certainly didn’t get it there, on the script side. I didn’t thread the needle. There are things that were cool and some interesting ideas. I’ve certainly emotionally moved on from it and just said, “If it happens someday, it happens.”

– Seth Grahame-Smith, writer of The Lego Batman Movie

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No Matter How Hard You Try

You’re not going to make Crocs cool. I somehow got subscribed to a ridiculously overpriced MAN’S MAN clothing and apparel site (Huckberry – the name says it all) not too long ago. Their copywriters breathlessly oversell everything, but this one really made me chuckle.

Crocs are the shoes that can bring everyone together—from the creative directors we follow for style tips, to our parents, to our buddy who’s really into bowhunting. Over the past couple years, their unreasonably comfy slip-ons have floated into our everyday footwear rotations and aren’t leaving anytime soon. Which is why we’ve been looking forward to their new batch of near-weightless clogs outfitted for the colder months with all-terrain soles, cozy sherpa linings, and Realtree and Mossy Oak camo.

No.