Clueless Gamer

Conan reviewed Grand Theft Auto 5 for his Clueless Gamer segment way back in 2013. Still funny. And relatable.

How Many Do You Recognize?

Also, we are old.

Four video game sound designers explain the thinking behind some of the world’s most recognizable video game sounds. Featuring sounds from Pac-Man, Sonic the Hedgehog, Donkey Kong, Mario Kart, Contra, Street Fighter II, Doom and more!

This One’s For Me

But of course, you’re more than welcome to take a look. It’s a new documentary about my all-time favorite PC game(s).

What happens when one of the most revolutionary series in video games suddenly goes dark? To celebrate its 20th anniversary, Noclip hits the road to investigate the legacy of Half-Life and the incredible community working to keep the dream alive.

Featuring Geoff Keighley (The Game Awards), Cory Barlog (God of War), Vince Zampella (Titanfall / Call of Duty), Randy Pitchford (Borderlands), Laura Michet, Scott Smith, Robert Yang and more.

I’m Busy, Watch This

In 1998, a little known company named Valve released a first-person shooter named Half-Life and changed the face of gaming. Where other shooters struggled to provide even a semblance of a story, Half-Life had brains to match its brawns; a stirring tale featuring a realistic human cast and a protagonist that was more than a hand and a gun unfolded before the player’s eyes as they progressed through each level.

As Valve grew, so too did Half-Life’s reputation, with Half-Life 2 in 2004 once again revolutionizing the genre, and its episodic expansions, Half-life 2: Episode One and Episode Two, further raising the bar. The series didn’t release consistently, and occasionally suffered unexpected and painful setbacks; but when it did, it seemed as if Valve could do no wrong – until the series suddenly stopped. Shifting priorities, a lack of motivation, and other, more nebulous factors would lead Valve to put Half-Life on ice in the middle of its prime, leaving a generation of gamers adrift, and an opus unfinished.

And yet – Half-Life lives on. Be it in the innumerable games and series it inspired or provided the computative bedrock for, an undying stream of mods, or other media based on the franchise, Half-Life’s DNA is permanently embedded in the fabric of the video game industry, and will likely remain so for some time. As sad as it is that a Half-Life 2: Episode 3 or a Half-Life 3 will likely never happen, and as frustrating as it is that Valve remains belligerent as to precisely why, the series, for the most part, has only really fallen… out of Valve’s hands.

This is the rise and fall of Half-Life.

Y’all Don’t Care

But this looks amazing, and glowing reviews are describing it as the most immersive gaming experience ever. (It scored a 97 on Metacritic, too.)

Available TODAY, bastards.

Shaun!

Funny, then stupid, then funny again. I don’t know why.

Cracked says …

Heavy Rain is an ambitious, complicated and tense murder mystery, which is exactly the sort of game that’s begging for glitches to interrupt the drama like a drunken clown stumbling into a funeral. In the heady emotional climax, protagonist Ethan has found his missing son, Shaun, just in time to stop a serial killer from serial killing him. You’re prompted to hit a button to howl Shaun’s name to the heavens in sheer joy, but what’s supposed to be a touching moment of fatherly love instead turns into a bizarre fit of familial Tourette’s.

Sometimes the prompt to shout “Shaun” shows up and refuses to leave. You can scream it anytime: Ethan yells it at his girlfriend for no reason; he interrupts the villain’s evil monologue with “SHAUN”; he hollers his son’s name in response to getting shot. Later, as Ethan’s lady friend is running from the killer, he keeps screaming “Shaun!” with the voice of a demigod that carries for miles. Eventually, Ethan recovers from his wound, confronts the killer, and blows him away on top of a construction crane. In the pouring rain, he delivers his badass one-liner. It is, of course, “SHAUN!!!”

Holy Shit, This Game Looks Good

I returned to console gaming last year after acquiring my son’s never-used PS4. I’m pretty picky about what I play, but I quickly realized that anything Naughty Dog releases will be top notch. I bought The Last of Us Remastered at Target on a whim and I couldn’t put it down. After that, it was The Last of Us: Left Behind, Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End and then Uncharted: The Lost Legacy.

Rumor has is that The Last of Us Part II is coming sometime next year.

Can’t. Wait.