Sorry, Not Sorry

https://youtu.be/AWacBpIqhYU

For the uninitiated, Music from “The Elder” was KISS’s greatest misstep in a long career with more than a few. After 1980’s Unmasked bombed (they didn’t even tour behind it!), the band decided it was time to get back to basics, working again with the producer who had given them their most successful album, Destroyer. Instead, Bob Ezrin’s cocaine habit talked Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley into a concept album to rival Pink Floyd’s The Wall.

This is hilarious for many reasons, but especially funny when you consider that 99.998% of previous KISS songs were about partying and getting laid. Even Ace Frehley, the crazy, off-the-rails alcoholic in the band, knew this was a terrible idea. It was conceived as a soundtrack to a movie that didn’t exist! Here’s the story, courtesy of Wikipedia

The basic plot of “The Elder” involves the recruitment and training of a young hero (The Boy) by the Council of Elders who belong to the Order of the Rose, a mysterious group dedicated to combating evil. The Boy is guided by an elderly caretaker named Morpheus. The album’s lyrics describe the boy’s feelings during his journey and training, as he overcomes his early doubts to become confident and self-assured. The only spoken dialogue is at the end of the last track, “I”. During the passage, Morpheus proclaims to the Elders that The Boy is ready to undertake his odyssey.

How could this be anything but a cocaine album?

Tell Us About The Pixies

Two great turns of phrase, among many:
– “screaming mass of flesh” describing Black Francis
– “psychotic Beatles” in reference to the band

Enjoy the intro on this cover:

The Skegss = The Shaggs + The Scruffs? Help me out…

Mission Statement For Your Band

Band Name Bureau has a Twitter account, an Instagram Feed and a paid subscription service. The guy who started it began as an AV Club compiler, and the Ten Year Retrospective of Band Names was stellar. Included are links to bands, songs, and desolate wastelands like MySpace. With all respect to Fartbarf, my favorites:

Here Comes Old Vodka Tits
Coach Said Not To
Carlos I’m Pregnant
Diagnosis? Bastard
Okilly Dokilly (“the world’s only Nedal band”)

I have no idea if these bands are any good, but I’m sure that you music industry veterans can confirm it doesn’t matter, it’s all about your name.

I think if someone cleaned up the audio, Carlos I’m Pregnant wouldn’t be half-bad.