Steve!

Youngsters watching this today won’t realize how funny and irreverent this was for 1978. You just didn’t make fun of self-important movie stars like this back then.

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

I love this series.

  • DROPPED COMPUTER TABLET WHILE TRYING TO GET OFF TOILET; PENIS LACERATION
  • SOMEONE STEPPED ON A RAKE AND ITS HANDLE STRUCK HIM IN THE TESTICLES
  • PATIENT STATES TOP OF 2 LITER COKE BOTTLE PLACED AROUND PENIS WHILE SLEEPING, PATIENT HAD BEEN DRINKING, UNABLE TO REMOVE
  • HALLUCINATING THERE ARE SNAKES IN SCROTUM SO HE RUBBER BANDED HIS TESTICLES SO THEY DON’T ESCAPE; METH ABUSE
  • TESTICLE PAIN AFTER SITTING & PLAYING VIDEO GAMES FOR EXTENDED TIME

Happy 2019, bastards!

This Is A Classic

How long can you take it?

All 70 tracks! It’s the full compilation of absolutely terrible, yet hilarious stage banter from Paul Stanley of KISS, who by the way, is absolutely, positively not a repressed gay man.

EDIT: I made it 11 minutes and 17 seconds.

Reading Is Fundamental

What are any of you bastards reading these days? Believe it or not, I put down the band bios for a minute and I’ve been enjoying the hell out of John Dies At The End. It’s got kind of a MIB vibe, if the agents were a couple of twenty-something college dropouts.

In this reissue of an Internet phenomenon originally slapped between two covers in 2007 by indie Permutus Press, Wong — Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin’s alter ego — adroitly spoofs the horror genre while simultaneously offering up a genuinely horrifying story. The terror is rooted in a substance known as soy sauce, a paranormal psychoactive that opens video store clerk Wong’s — and his penis-obsessed friend John’s — minds to higher levels of consciousness. Or is it just hell seeping into the unnamed Midwestern town where Wong and the others live? Meat monsters, wig-wearing scorpion aberrations and wingless white flies that burrow into human skin threaten to kill Wong and his crew before infesting the rest of the world. A multidimensional plot unfolds as the unlikely heroes drink lots of beer and battle the paradoxes of time and space, as well as the clichés of first-person-shooter video games and fantasy gore films. Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book’s smart take on fear manages to tap into readers’ existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.

The Favourite

Mrs. Makerbot and I saw this at The Blue-Hair Cinema Grill last night. I laughed, I cried! It was better than CATS!

Early 18th century. England is at war with the French. Nevertheless, duck racing and pineapple eating are thriving. A frail Queen Anne (Olivia Colman) occupies the throne and her close friend Lady Sarah (Rachel Weisz) governs the country in her stead while tending to Anne’s ill health and mercurial temper. When a new servant Abigail (Emma Stone) arrives, her charm endears her to Sarah. Sarah takes Abigail under her wing and Abigail sees a chance at a return to her aristocratic roots. As the politics of war become quite time consuming for Sarah, Abigail steps into the breach to fill in as the Queen’s companion. Their burgeoning friendship gives her a chance to fulfill her ambitions and she will not let woman, man, politics or rabbit stand in her way.

This One’s For Me

But of course, you’re more than welcome to take a look. It’s a new documentary about my all-time favorite PC game(s).

What happens when one of the most revolutionary series in video games suddenly goes dark? To celebrate its 20th anniversary, Noclip hits the road to investigate the legacy of Half-Life and the incredible community working to keep the dream alive.

Featuring Geoff Keighley (The Game Awards), Cory Barlog (God of War), Vince Zampella (Titanfall / Call of Duty), Randy Pitchford (Borderlands), Laura Michet, Scott Smith, Robert Yang and more.

Marvel Comics 7-Eleven Slurpee Plastic Cup Set

Originally posted to Facebook, but I’m deleting all my shit over there and wanted to hang on to these. Marvel Slurpee cups, one more pop culture item that makes me nostalgic for the Seventies.

Four sets of these plastic cups were produced — three for Marvel Comics characters and one set for DC Comics characters. This is the first of the three Marvel sets issued. Marvel’s more popular characters — Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk and The Thing — each received three cups.

Movie Crush Podcast

Not sure how you bastards feel about podcasts or which ones you fancy, but I’ve gotten into this one pretty hard in the last few days.

Movie Crush is an interview show where Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know sits down with your favorite people to talk about their favorite movie. Simple enough, but what we get is much more than that. It’s a look at what makes a favorite thing, and why someone’s favorite movie says so much about who they are. More conversation than interview, Movie Crush, at its heart, is about the love affair we all have with the silver screen.

About the Host

Chuck is the co-host of the long-running Stuff You Should Know podcast. Born and raised in Atlanta, he spent time in New York and LA working in the film industry before returning home and eventually starting his career as a podcaster. Since then, SYSK has grown into one of the biggest podcasts in the world and Chuck has found himself as an “accidental” veteran of a new medium. In his spare time, Chuck likes to hang out with his wife and daughter and play in his “old man band” El Cheapo.

Recently, Chuck’s co-worker Casey joined him for a three part series on the genius of Stanley Kubrick. He and Chuck dive deep on Casey’s pick for part one, The Shining. Hit play and settle in …