Tales of True Adventure for Rugged Men Not Unlike Yourself
The horror, the horror.
Sylvester Stallone designed this pen and watch set a few years ago as part of cross-promotion for The Expendables. The watches ranged in price from $5,000.00 up to $75,000.00!
So, basically the guy who sat next to you in 8th grade study hall is now making pens.
Or …
For the man who has everything … except taste.
Or …
EXOTIC. MAJESTIC. IMPOSING. A pen that feels like a steel dick in your pocket, stabbing your actual genitals.
https://youtu.be/UHS3ci9H_Uc
Still funny.
Nice article on Elvis Costello and his current health over at the Beast.
Most surprising item: His mother is still alive!
Is it me, or were these toys incredibly homoerotic?
Exhibit A, the copy for this commercial …
The incredible Dr. Steel!
You’ve got Big Jim and Big Jeff hacking ‘cross the land
Stopped cold by a gleaming hand
Of the incredible Dr. Steel
With rugged face and strange tattoo
You make him break a bar in two
Make Big Jim and Big Jeff strike a blow
Is he friend or is he foe?
Get him drunk and make a pass
Take him in the alley and pound that ass
Of the incredible Dr. Steel!
Get yours [BROKEN LINK].
The most relaxed torture victim you’ll ever see. He’s obviously working his ass off to maximize the pain, while she looks like she’s getting a foot massage.
Holy cow, this is dark. And funny.
I met John Darnielle in the Atlanta airport this past summer and told him I was big fan. He seemed to enjoy being recognized and told me I’d made his day. I think he assumed I meant I was a fan of his music, and I completely forgot to tell him I love his books too. D’oh!
I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it’s already too late
And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again in my life
I hope I lie, and tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die
I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises
We’re pretty sure they’re all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn’t over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can’t find one good thing to say
And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You’d stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die
Killer chorus, and that bridge is fucking sublime.
[photo by Annie Leibowitz]
L-R: Robocaller, the Dark Lord of Power Pop, Shaq Fu
Handsome Bastards Guild, the (alleged) deep state behind Netflix/Apple/Google/Facebook/Amazon/Crossfit, was briefly seen at a Tennessee mead house recently. Per sources, it was resolved that:
Please update yourselves accordingly.