They Pulled This Trailer

“This quickly scuttled ad is built entirely around a defensive, anti-critic posture. The idea is basically Screw you, he’s Francis Ford Coppola. If you trust the critics who don’t like it, you’ll look foolish later. The trailer bolsters this argument with negative quotes from several critics on Coppola’s most beloved works, and also Dracula. The only problem was that none of these quotes actually appeared in those reviews. Their origins are either totally mysterious—Pauline Kael loved The Godfather!—or taken from other places, like Roger Ebert’s review of the Tim Burton Batman, which gets repurposed here as a Dracula pan.

While the absurdity of the fabricated quotes probably brought more attention to Megalopolis than traditional marketing, the speed with which the U.S. distributor Lionsgate apologized and tried to take it down suggests that this is neither a planned troll job nor a Dylanesque attempt to embody the themes of the film. Rather, the most likely explanation is that some idiot used ChatGPT as a search engine, it made up or misattributed these quotes, and nobody bothered to check them. That reflects terribly on the marketing team, but it’s also, honestly, a little bit funny to think of the Megalopolis gang as a football team convinced that they’re owning some imaginary haters with every touchdown.”

Can’t wait for this trainwreck.

Throw Money At It

I’ll be watching Glass Onion, on account of I liked the first one in the series. Netflix blew $450 million on two installments of the Knives Out franchise, presumably because the initial film cost $40 million to make, and did over $300 million box office.

Good luck recouping your investment!

Netflix also shelled out $1 billion with a “B” for The Rings of Power, which is Tolkien content from his sparse writing about the Second Age. I can’t imagine how much The Silmarillion would set them back.

Anyway, as a true Tolkien nerd I’ll say it’s comically off. Not just “hey we’ll edit George RR Martin a bit and Game of Thrones will really zip!” but “we’ll compress centuries of characters into shit that never happened or makes sense and people that never interacted and throw Weta Digital and 20 VFX houses at it.”

Supposedly the Tolkien estate signed off on it but it’s hard to believe. Maybe as a non-Tolkien story it’s fine for some people, but I wouldn’t know as I already know who the major characters are and bring all that baggage to it.
[n.b. I realize you all hate Tolkien, but I love his prose and his attention to detail, layers, and backstory. The Elven languages were created because he felt that gave a “whole cloth” feeling to the stories. For me, it works. I appreciated LOTR more after reading The Silmarillion.]

Pitch Meeting, as always, succinctly captures whatever the hell is supposed to be happening.

There Will Be No Encores

I’ve recently begun making a cautious return to seeing live music again, and I’ve come to realize something I guess I never cared enough to think about before: the encore is ridiculous. At this point, maybe we should just collectively admit that and do away with it. I’m not saying doing an encore was never a cool idea. I like to imagine a simpler time when it was an actual, authentic gesture only granted to crowds who cheered hard enough. Just end the show and then fuck off. The people who leave prior to the encore will find a new excuse to leave early. There’s always an excuse.

You bastards who perform live every week: are you still doing encores? Is it kabuki theater?

The Perfect Crime

From Defector:

The Justice Department announced today they’d arrested the two people behind the 2016 Bitfinex hack and recovered 94,636 of the 119,754 bitcoins stolen in the heist. That haul is currently valued at more than $3.6 billion, making it the largest financial seizure in United States history.

One of the actual crimes the pair of alleged masterminds are accused of committing is money laundering, which is somewhat redundant given, again, that we are dealing with cryptocurrency. In this case, the feds say Ilya Lichtenstein and Heather Morgan successfully laundered 21 percent of their bitcoin plunder through a number of labyrinthine pathways, including setting up fake accounts, swapping BTC for gold, and buying a bunch of PlayStation and WalMart gift cards. The feds found the unlaundered 79 percent just, uh, sitting in Lichtenstein’s cloud storage account, which they pretty easily recovered after getting a search warrant.

Morgan bills herself as a “Surrealist Artist, Rapper” and “Forbes writer” performing under the stage name Razzlekhan. 

“Just like her fearless entrepreneurial spirit and hacker mindset, Razz shamelessly explores new frontiers of art, pushing the limit of what’s possible. Whether that leads to something wonderful or terrible is unclear; the only thing that’s certain is it won’t be boring or mediocre.”

Um… right. The interwebs are having a field day with her terrible rapping. You were warned.