Don’t Watch After Eating

I hate the songs of Jimmy Webb.  He won a jillion Grammy’s, and he’s regularly named as a great songwriter by people who really should know better (Bruce Springteen and some others).  At his best, his songs are merely annoying, melodically vapid, and oozing with gooey sentimentality (his songs for Glen Campbell: Galveston, Wichita Lineman, By the Time I Get To Phoenix).  At his worst, they are also pretentious (McArthur Park) and stupid beyond all description (Up, Up and Away, McArthur Park again).  I once played Richard Harris’s original hit version of McArthur Park to my older son, who was certain I was playing him a comedy record.  If you’re so inclined, above you can watch him perform what could be the worst song ever written with such bone-headed earnestness that you may find yourself wanting Anton Chigurh to walk up and do his captive bolt stunner thing on him.  I didn’t even make it to the infamous “cake out in the rain” part (surely the dumbest metaphor ever devised).  In a way it’s funny, but mostly not.  My question to you bastards: am I incorrect?  If any of you are Jimmy Webb fans, can you clue me in as to what’s good about him?  Did he write some hidden gems I’ve never heard?  Because based on his biggest hits, I don’t get his reputation as one of the greats at all.

This Guy Is A Magician

Two Les Paul headstock repairs, two different approaches. Never realized Gibson’s design flaw until this gentleman pointed it out.

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?

Certainly my favorite “best of” the year list:

• “PATIENT STATES HE STATES SLIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND LANDED ON A METAL AIR FRESHENER CAN AND IT WENT INTO RECTUM”
• PLASTIC TOY, “ABOUT 6 INCHES LONG”
• MATTRESS FOAM
• TURKEY BASTER
• COAT HANGER, “PATIENT UNSURE HOW IT GOT THERE”
• CIGARETTE LIGHTER
• BAG OF HEROIN
• LIGHT BULB
• CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT
• “WAS USING PROSTATE MASSAGER & IT GOT ‘SUCKED IN’”’

I particularly like the light bulb, like that’s where all the good ideas are.

More here. Ear, nose, throat, penis, and vagina included for completeness.

Altamont Turns 50

The infamous Altamont Speedway free concert happened fifty years ago last Friday.  Not many humorous moments on that harrowing day, but a priceless one occurs above at about 3:47 as a Hell’s Angel sizes up Jagger.