According to Kerrang!, the best punk band from every state. I could argue, but at least they didn’t name the Subteens for Tennessee.
Read it here.
Help! Magazine
Holy shit, more pop culture dots connected. Before I forget, a few full issues of Help! are available online.
Help! is an American satire magazine that was published by James Warren from 1960 to 1965. It was Harvey Kurtzman’s longest-running magazine project after leaving Mad and EC Publications, and during its five years of operation it was chronically underfunded, yet innovative.
In starting Help!, Kurtzman brought along several artists from his Mad collaborations, including Will Elder, Jack Davis, John Severin and Al Jaffee.
Kurtzman’s assistants included Charles Alverson, Terry Gilliam and Gloria Steinem; the latter was helpful in gathering the celebrity comedians who appeared on the covers and the fumetti strips the magazine ran along with more traditional comics and text pieces. Among the then little-known performers in the fumetti were John Cleese, Woody Allen and Milt Kamen; better-known performers such as Orson Bean were also known to participate. Some of the fumetti were scripted by Bernard Shir-Cliff.
At Help!, Gilliam met Cleese for the first time, resulting in their collaboration years later on Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Cleese appeared in a Gilliam fumetto written by David Crossley, “Christopher’s Punctured Romance”. The tale concerns a man who is shocked to learn that his daughter’s new “Barbee” doll has “titties”; however, he falls in love with the doll and has an affair. Gilliam appeared on two covers of Help! and along with the rest of the creative team, appeared in crowd scenes in several fumetti.
The magazine introduced young talents who went on to influential careers in underground comix as well as the mainstream: among them Robert Crumb, Gilbert Shelton and Jay Lynch. Algis Budrys and other science fiction writers were regular contributors of prose and scripts to the magazine.
A total of 26 issues were printed before the magazine folded in 1965. Volume one (Aug. 1960–Sept. 1961) had 12 issues, and 14 issues comprised the second volume (Feb. 1962–Sept. 1965).
Hey Ladies
Because I want the new Beastie Boys memoir.
Hey ladies in the place, I’m callin’ out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There’s more to me than you’ll ever know
And I’ve got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
I date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
And I’m always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
Wheelin’ and dealin’ I make a little bit of a stealing
I’ll bring her back to the place and your dress I’m peeling
Your body’s on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there up on the ceiling
Such and such’ll be the bass that I’m throwing
I’m talking to the girl telling her I’m all-knowing
She’s talking to the kid (who?) to the kid, to the kid
I’m telling her every lie that you know that I never did
Hey ladies, get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies
Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers, said welcome back Kotter
We was cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her, please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain’t nothing but a crab
Educated no, stupid yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
I’m not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge
I’m Adam and I’m adamant about living large
With the white Sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin’ love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
‘Cause I don’t kinda go for that messin’ around
You be listening to my records’ A number one sound
Just step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride
I’ve got an open mind so why don’t you all get inside?
Tune in, turn on to my tune that’s live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive
Hey ladies, get funky
(Girls, girls)
Ain’t it funky now?
(Ain’t it funky now?) well, you know that
She got a gold tooth you know she’s hardcore
She’ll show you a good time then she’ll show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear
Call her in the middle of the night when I’m drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it’s stinking
Said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window ’cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the six train
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
Sucking down pints until I didn’t know
Woke up in the morning with a one-ton ho
‘Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like she’s number one
(She thinks she’s the passionate one)
Hey ladies, get funky
Good god
(I like that polyester look)
Dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
(Hey you know, I ‘d really love to do your hair sometime)
Ain’t it funky brother?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey ladies
I Never Get Tired Of This
Written and voiced by Adam Buxton, animation by The Brothers McLeod.
This Hits The Spot
Brand new video from a bunch of dead guys! (And Marky, who is doing just fine.)
You’re watching the never-before-seen official music video for Ramones – ‘She’s The One’ from the 1978 album ‘Road To Ruin’. ‘Road To Ruin’ just turned 40, and Rhino is celebrating the milestone with a 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition.
Weird Al Takes On The Pixies, First World Problems
The man is a national treasure.
UPDATE! Down the rabbit hole I go.
CNR
Weird Al Yankovic’s tribute to both Charles Nelson Reilly and The White Stripes. With a little help from Jib Jab.
The “5th Ramone” Speaks
Great interview with Monte Melnick on the Please Kill Me blargh. If you don’t feel like reading the whole thing, here’s the best part.
PKM: There’s a great story in your book that takes place in a Texas gas station.
Monte A. Melnick: My favorite story. This was early on. We were driving through rural Texas, driving five or six hours, and we pulled into a gas station to get some gas, and there was a little store there too, so they all pile out of the van, looking like zombies. They were staggering around because they were seven hours in the van. So they’re in the store looking at stuff, and I come in to pay for the gas and the lady says “It’s sure nice of you to take care of these retarded boys.”
I Was A Roadie For The Replacements
Pretty good interview with Bill Sullivan, Mats roadie and author of “Lemon Jail” about his time on the road with them. On the Please Kill Me blargh, no less.
Readith it here.
Who Is Alfred E. Neuman?
Bill Gaines explains Alfred E. Neuman’s origins in this clip from 1977.