Please go watch this at once. Or re-watch this fantastic documentary, you non-Wipers remembering bastards.
YOUR TOWN IS NEXT
Can I F*ck To My Friend’s Band?
Drew Magary is a national treasure. This is from his weekly column.
Props to “Dave”.
Your letters:
Josh:
I’m a sound guy, and as such am lucky enough to have some really talented musician friends. Some of those have albums that are absolute sex jams. Is it okay to bone to your friends’ music, and if so, should I tell them, or my partner?
Ans:
I think all of that is fine. Music is made for fucking. So use it. Just because you’re having sex to Dave’s band doesn’t mean Dave is THERE, standing behind a curtain somewhere and watching you hump. It just means he does his job well. He’d probably be beaming with pride that his shit was good enough to make your coitus playlist. I know I would be. Hey yo people are having sex to ME and my tasty riffs!
I’d tell him. Hell, I’d make a video of the session and send it to him. BRO LOOK HOW WELL THIS TURNED OUT BRO! If people fucked to my podcast (and who wouldn’t?!), I’d want to know. I think. Okay probably not, but still. It would be one thing if it were, like, your DAD’S band. But if it’s your friend who also happens to be Sam Smith or whoever, I think you’re using their work as intended. They have to have chops. Don’t go fucking to some shitty bar band demo that sounds like Jim Irsay nut deep into a bottle of Xanax. To fuck to a song is to validate that song. So make sure all of that vetting has already been done in advance before you thrust in there with your own endorsement.
As for telling your bedmate, I think that’s also probably fine. It would be weird if you made a whole production out of it. Honey, tonight we’re gonna fuck… to Dave! And it would be weird if you disclose this factoid while you’re inside someone. But if your girlfriend knows the song before the fact and likes it, and if that song is already in the rotation and suits the occasion, it’s all good. You might even share a laugh about it. GUYS ALWAYS LOVE TO LAUGH WHEN THEY’RE HORNY.
Yeesh
Nobody loves The ‘Oo more than I do, but this is rough. New album, WHO, out in November. Fortunately it’s not a concept album. Says Roger:
I think we’ve made our best album since Quadrophenia in 1973,” singer Roger Daltrey said in a statement. “Pete hasn’t lost it. He’s still a fabulous songwriter, and he’s still got that cutting edge.
Of course, Roger is a Brexiteer, so what does he know?
Sweep The Leg…
So everyone knows what the biggest sports event of 1984 was right? Damn right you do, it was the epic karate battle between Daniel Laruso and Johnny Lawrence. Well, thankfully the good folks at ESPN have put together a 30 for 30 to commemorate the event. Sort of…
The Art Of Mort Künstler
Here’s some more incredibly manly paintings for you rugged bastards!
From Design You Can Trust …
Mort Künstler is best known today for his vivid paintings of scenes from American history, specifically the Revolutionary War and the Civil War. These works have been featured in books and calendars, and spotlighted in exhibitions around the country.
Less known is Künstler’s early work in men’s adventure magazines, a unique genre that populated newsstands from the 1950s through the late ‘70s. Also known as “men’s sweats,” because most covers featured a sweaty, shirtless guy facing some type of peril, scores of adventure titles vied for a reader’s attention with eye-popping headlines such as “Death Orgy of the Leopard Women” and “Weasels Ripped My Flesh!”
Speaking Of Things That Haven’t Aged Well
I love the Stones, but Jeebus, they did some horrible videos. Case in point:
A.I. Motivation
Technology can be a great thing, especially with artificial intelligence comes up with its own words of inspiration. The future is now, and also funny…
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
I love this series.
- DROPPED COMPUTER TABLET WHILE TRYING TO GET OFF TOILET; PENIS LACERATION
- SOMEONE STEPPED ON A RAKE AND ITS HANDLE STRUCK HIM IN THE TESTICLES
- PATIENT STATES TOP OF 2 LITER COKE BOTTLE PLACED AROUND PENIS WHILE SLEEPING, PATIENT HAD BEEN DRINKING, UNABLE TO REMOVE
- HALLUCINATING THERE ARE SNAKES IN SCROTUM SO HE RUBBER BANDED HIS TESTICLES SO THEY DON’T ESCAPE; METH ABUSE
- TESTICLE PAIN AFTER SITTING & PLAYING VIDEO GAMES FOR EXTENDED TIME
Happy 2019, bastards!
Movie Crush Podcast
Not sure how you bastards feel about podcasts or which ones you fancy, but I’ve gotten into this one pretty hard in the last few days.
Movie Crush is an interview show where Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know sits down with your favorite people to talk about their favorite movie. Simple enough, but what we get is much more than that. It’s a look at what makes a favorite thing, and why someone’s favorite movie says so much about who they are. More conversation than interview, Movie Crush, at its heart, is about the love affair we all have with the silver screen.
About the Host
Chuck is the co-host of the long-running Stuff You Should Know podcast. Born and raised in Atlanta, he spent time in New York and LA working in the film industry before returning home and eventually starting his career as a podcaster. Since then, SYSK has grown into one of the biggest podcasts in the world and Chuck has found himself as an “accidental” veteran of a new medium. In his spare time, Chuck likes to hang out with his wife and daughter and play in his “old man band” El Cheapo.
Recently, Chuck’s co-worker Casey joined him for a three part series on the genius of Stanley Kubrick. He and Chuck dive deep on Casey’s pick for part one, The Shining. Hit play and settle in …
I’m From Hollywood, I Have the Brains
Andy Kaufman began wrestling women as part of his stand-up act and then decided he wanted to get involved in professional wrestling. By the way, I remember seeing the above video clip on our local Saturday morning wrasslin’ program after spending the night at a friend’s house. Hilarious now, but as kids, we didn’t think the taunts were so funny.
Y’all probably know all this already, but here’s wiki-wiki-Wikipedia to tell the whole story about Kaufman’s feud with Jerry Lawler …
Kaufman initially approached the head of the World Wrestling Federation, Vince McMahon Sr., about bringing his act to the New York wrestling territory. McMahon dismissed Kaufman’s idea as the elder McMahon was not about to bring “show business” into his Pro Wrestling society. Kaufman had by then developed a friendship with wrestling reporter/photographer Bill Apter. After many discussions about Kaufman’s desire to be in the pro wrestling business, Apter called Memphis wrestling icon Jerry “The King” Lawler and introduced him to Kaufman by telephone.
Kaufman finally stepped into the ring (in the Memphis wrestling circuit) with a man—Lawler himself. Kaufman taunted the residents of Memphis by playing “videos showing residents how to use soap” and proclaiming the city to be “the nation’s redneck capital”. The ongoing Lawler-Kaufman feud, which often featured Jimmy Hart and other heels in Kaufman’s corner, included a number of staged “works”, such as a broken neck for Kaufman as a result of Lawler’s piledriver and a famous on-air fight on a 1982 episode of Late Night with David Letterman.
For some time after that first match, Kaufman appeared wearing a neck brace, insisting that his injuries were much worse than they really were. Kaufman would continue to defend the Inter-Gender Championship in the Mid-South Coliseum and offered an extra prize, other than the $1,000: that if he were pinned, the woman who pinned him would get to marry him and that Kaufman would also shave his head.
Eventually it was revealed that the feud and wrestling matches were staged works, and that Kaufman and Lawler were friends. This was not disclosed until more than 10 years after Kaufman’s death, when the Emmy-nominated documentary A Comedy Salute to Andy Kaufman aired on NBC in 1995. Jim Carrey, who revealed the secret, later went on to play Kaufman in the 1999 film Man on the Moon. In a 1997 interview with the Memphis Flyer, Lawler said he had improvised during their first match and the Letterman incident.
Although officials at St. Francis Hospital stated that Kaufman’s neck injuries were real, in his 2002 biography It’s Good to Be the King … Sometimes, Lawler detailed how they came up with the angle and kept it quiet. Even though Kaufman’s injury was legitimate, the pair exaggerated it. He also said that Kaufman’s furious tirade and performance on Letterman was Kaufman’s own idea, including when Lawler slapped Kaufman out of his chair. Promoter Jerry Jarrett later recalled that for two years, he would mail Kaufman payments comparable to what other main-event wrestlers were getting at the time, but Kaufman never deposited the checks.