My Eyes! The Goggles Do Nothing!

The horror, the horror.

Sylvester Stallone designed this pen and watch set a few years ago as part of cross-promotion for The Expendables. The watches ranged in price from $5,000.00 up to $75,000.00!

So, basically the guy who sat next to you in 8th grade study hall is now making pens.

Or …

For the man who has everything … except taste.

Or …

EXOTIC. MAJESTIC. IMPOSING. A pen that feels like a steel dick in your pocket, stabbing your actual genitals.