Hey Ladies

Because I want the new Beastie Boys memoir.

Hey ladies in the place, I’m callin’ out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There’s more to me than you’ll ever know
And I’ve got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
I date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
And I’m always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
Wheelin’ and dealin’ I make a little bit of a stealing
I’ll bring her back to the place and your dress I’m peeling
Your body’s on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there up on the ceiling
Such and such’ll be the bass that I’m throwing
I’m talking to the girl telling her I’m all-knowing
She’s talking to the kid (who?) to the kid, to the kid
I’m telling her every lie that you know that I never did
Hey ladies, get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies
Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers, said welcome back Kotter
We was cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her, please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain’t nothing but a crab
Educated no, stupid yep
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh
I’m not James at fifteen or Chachi in charge
I’m Adam and I’m adamant about living large
With the white Sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin’ love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
‘Cause I don’t kinda go for that messin’ around
You be listening to my records’ A number one sound
Just step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride
I’ve got an open mind so why don’t you all get inside?
Tune in, turn on to my tune that’s live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive
Hey ladies, get funky
(Girls, girls)
Ain’t it funky now?
(Ain’t it funky now?) well, you know that
She got a gold tooth you know she’s hardcore
She’ll show you a good time then she’ll show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear
Call her in the middle of the night when I’m drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it’s stinking
Said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window ’cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the six train
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak
Sucking down pints until I didn’t know
Woke up in the morning with a one-ton ho
‘Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like she’s number one
(She thinks she’s the passionate one)
Hey ladies, get funky
Good god
(I like that polyester look)
Dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
(Hey you know, I ‘d really love to do your hair sometime)
Ain’t it funky brother?
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey ladies

I Want To See This Now

The little indie that could.

From Ars Technica

Back during SXSW 2018, Ars caught a small, enchanting bit of space sci-fi called Prospect, and evidently many others felt just as smitten. The film ended up snagging a distribution deal soon after and is now being released in theaters starting this weekend.

Please Kill Me Radio Documentary

And if you haven’t read the book, we can’t be friends anymore.

Please Kill Me: Voices from the Archives
Two one-hour documentaries that explore an America that birthed the new order of today.

20 years ago journalists and music historians Gillian McCain and Legs McNeil recorded interviews with the icons of Punk for their New York Times best-selling book “Please Kill Me – The Uncensored History of Punk.” Now, these rare, candid interviews have been meticulously restored for Public Radio and compiled to create an oral history of the Punk movement in Please Kill Me – Voices From the Archives.

The stories of these bands are more than music, they’re the cultural evolution of America:
the end of the 60s
the ferment of the 70s
Watergate to the Women’s Movement.

Part One -The Pioneers of Punk
How the Warhol 60’s morphed into the Punk 70’s, marginalized inhabitants of a near-bankrupt New York City, changed 20th century culture, and influenced the World.

Part Two – The Punk Invasion
The music of the Velvet Underground, Iggy and the Stooges,The New York Dolls, and others were meeting fierce resistance in the US. With no other options open to them, during the July 4rth weekend of 1976, as America was celebrating it’s bicentennial, the Ramones went to London and launched punk rock. In England, punk would explode and become a cultural force to be reckoned with.

Features exclusive, never-before-heard interviews with Iggy Pop, Patti Smith, Debbie Harry, the Ramones and many more.

Big Jim, Big Jeff, & Dr. Steel

Is it me, or were these toys incredibly homoerotic?

Exhibit A, the copy for this commercial …

The incredible Dr. Steel!
You’ve got Big Jim and Big Jeff hacking ‘cross the land
Stopped cold by a gleaming hand
Of the incredible Dr. Steel
With rugged face and strange tattoo
You make him break a bar in two
Make Big Jim and Big Jeff strike a blow
Is he friend or is he foe?
Get him drunk and make a pass
Take him in the alley and pound that ass
Of the incredible Dr. Steel!

We Have A Quorum

[photo by Annie Leibowitz]

L-R: Robocaller, the Dark Lord of Power Pop, Shaq Fu

Handsome Bastards Guild, the (alleged) deep state behind Netflix/Apple/Google/Facebook/Amazon/Crossfit, was briefly seen at a Tennessee mead house recently. Per sources, it was resolved that:

  • more beer please
  • a pilot study will be commissioned to create a bastard logo, with possible tattoo ramifications
  • offshore accounts all moved to Iceland
  • next meeting will be at the beer garden with hand-cranked sausage

Please update yourselves accordingly.

So Long, Google+

I’ll remember our time together fondly.

From The Guardian

This March, as Facebook was coming under global scrutiny over the harvesting of personal data for Cambridge Analytica, Google discovered a skeleton in its own closet: a bug in the API for Google+ had been allowing third-party app developers to access the data not just of users who had granted permission, but of their friends.

If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s almost exactly the scenario that got Mark Zuckerberg dragged in front of the US Congress. The parallel was not lost on Google, and the company chose not to disclose the data leak, the Wall Street Journal revealed Monday, in order to avoid the public relations headache and potential regulatory enforcement.

Disclosure will likely result “in us coming into the spotlight alongside or even instead of Facebook despite having stayed under the radar throughout the Cambridge Analytica scandal”, Google policy and legal officials wrote in a memo obtained by the Journal. It “almost guarantees Sundar will testify before Congress”, the memo said, referring to the company’s CEO, Sundar Pichai. The disclosure would also invite “immediate regulatory interest”.

Shortly after the story was published, Google announced that it will shut down consumer access to Google+ and improve privacy protections for third-party applications.