Bastard Tested, Bastard Approved?

I’m not sure that a discussion about this band is allowed on this forum, but I need to weigh in on Tool.

I hadn’t hear one of their songs(except Sober) ¬†until a couple of weeks ago, after they released a new song, and finally got their stuff on streaming platforms. I was too busy studying the pie hole back in to 90’s to pay attention to them, and I certainly wasn’t going to spend money on a CD from a band who’s logo is a wrench that looks like a dick. Plus their songs are really long, and that’s saying something coming from a jam band fan boy.

Fast forward to Labor Day weekend… I’m hooked. I basically spent last weekend working my way through their albums, and I’m digging me some Tool. I don’t even know what you’d call it… metal? It’s prog rock for sure, and it’s pretty heavy.

Any of you bastards listen to these guys? They’re a bit different from the normal stuff here on the blargh. If you haven’t heard them, here’s a few to get you started. If you like really long songs with a shit ton of fuzzy distorted guitar, and a drummer that sounds just like Neil Peart, you might like Tool. Here’s a couple to get you started…

So I guess I’m in the Tool army, and I’ll be seeing them November 8…

4 Replies to “Bastard Tested, Bastard Approved?”

  1. Thanks! Always wondered what they were about.
    A little Soundgarden/AIC-y on that first one.

    Now that you’re a fan, you’ll have to blend in [from Urban Dictionary]:

    TOOL FAN

    Avid listeners of the alternative metal band known as Tool. Tool fans believe that, by listening to music with no concept of time signatures and pseudo-cryptic lyrics sang by a man known as Maynard Ivory James Keenan Wayans, it puts them on a higher intellectual and musical plateau than fans of non-“prog” bands. You can pick a Tool fan out of a crowd easily, by looking for a college student who speaks of issues which he has little to no understanding of, rants about conspiracy theories, is a half-hearted activist and constantly reeks of bong water. A Tool fan, as a rule, will never look presentable, wearing yesterday’s hoodie and a baseball cap over his unwashed and shaggy hair.

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