Category: Experimental Matrimony

A recent domestic rocky patch got me musing about what post-marital life might look like, should it happen. I’d like to think that I’m now sane enough to be just fine on my own. But should the desire for companionship once again override my better judgement, my premarital criteria of hotness and brains would need revising: at my age one can’t take hotness for granted, and brains in the wrong person can be dangerous. That leaves common interests, so please find below my solution for sifting through the applicants:

Submit a substantial response to at least two prompts. Cities refer to their music. There are no right or wrong answers except for #5. Choosing the incorrect answer for #5 will result in immediate disqualification regardless of the overall quality of the response. Some pairs may seem strange or are not true opposites. Deal with it.

1. Beatles or Stones?
2. Elvis or Chuck Berry?
3. Stax or Motown?
4. Nashville or Bakersfield?
5. LA or San Francisco (60’s)?
6. New York or London (‘76-‘77)?
7. Kinks or Who?
8. Ramones or Heartbreakers (Johnny Thunders)?
9. Clash or Sex Pistols?
10. Replacements or R.E.M.?
11. Strokes or Libertines?
12. Bach or Handel?
13. Mozart or Beethoven?
14. Mozart or Haydn?
15. Mahler or Brahms?
16. Radiohead or ____?

I call upon the Bastardate to complete #16. Such is Radiohead’s reputation (one criticizes them at one’s peril) that they must be included, yet I cannot think of a band of their era that inspires similar devotion. Maybe you Xers can. Feel free to add pairs as well.

I left out jazz because, although I can’t expect hotness, I certainly wouldn’t exclude it.