No Children

Holy cow, this is dark. And funny.

I met John Darnielle in the Atlanta airport this past summer and told him I was big fan. He seemed to enjoy being recognized and told me I’d made his day. I think he assumed I meant I was a fan of his music, and I completely forgot to tell him I love his books too. D’oh!

I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us

I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it’s already too late

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again in my life

I hope I lie, and tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises
We’re pretty sure they’re all wrong

I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn’t over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober

And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can’t find one good thing to say
And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You’d stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die
I hope we both die

We Have A Quorum

[photo by Annie Leibowitz]

L-R: Robocaller, the Dark Lord of Power Pop, Shaq Fu

Handsome Bastards Guild, the (alleged) deep state behind Netflix/Apple/Google/Facebook/Amazon/Crossfit, was briefly seen at a Tennessee mead house recently. Per sources, it was resolved that:

  • more beer please
  • a pilot study will be commissioned to create a bastard logo, with possible tattoo ramifications
  • offshore accounts all moved to Iceland
  • next meeting will be at the beer garden with hand-cranked sausage

Please update yourselves accordingly.

Funnier Than You Remember

https://youtu.be/QtdpVKpl8qY

Here’s the very first episode The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends (AKA Rocky and His Friends, The Bullwinkle Show, The Rocky Show/The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show/The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle/The Adventures of Bullwinkle and Rocky, and Bullwinkle’s Moose-O-Rama), which aired on ABC way back on November 19, 1959.

Crude animation and clever as hell.

This Hits The Spot

Brand new video from a bunch of dead guys! (And Marky, who is doing just fine.)

You’re watching the never-before-seen official music video for Ramones – ‘She’s The One’ from the 1978 album ‘Road To Ruin’. ‘Road To Ruin’ just turned 40, and Rhino is celebrating the milestone with a 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition.