No Children

Holy cow, this is dark. And funny.

I met John Darnielle in the Atlanta airport this past summer and told him I was big fan. He seemed to enjoy being recognized and told me I’d made his day. I think he assumed I meant I was a fan of his music, and I completely forgot to tell him I love his books too. D’oh!

I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us

I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it’s already too late

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again in my life

I hope I lie, and tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises
We’re pretty sure they’re all wrong

I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn’t over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober

And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can’t find one good thing to say
And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You’d stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand

And I hope you die
I hope we both die

We Have A Quorum

[photo by Annie Leibowitz]

L-R: Robocaller, the Dark Lord of Power Pop, Shaq Fu

Handsome Bastards Guild, the (alleged) deep state behind Netflix/Apple/Google/Facebook/Amazon/Crossfit, was briefly seen at a Tennessee mead house recently. Per sources, it was resolved that:

  • more beer please
  • a pilot study will be commissioned to create a bastard logo, with possible tattoo ramifications
  • offshore accounts all moved to Iceland
  • next meeting will be at the beer garden with hand-cranked sausage

Please update yourselves accordingly.

Funnier Than You Remember

Here’s the very first episode The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends (AKA Rocky and His Friends, The Bullwinkle Show, The Rocky Show/The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show/The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle/The Adventures of Bullwinkle and Rocky, and Bullwinkle’s Moose-O-Rama), which aired on ABC way back on November 19, 1959.

Crude animation and clever as hell.

This Hits The Spot

Brand new video from a bunch of dead guys! (And Marky, who is doing just fine.)

You’re watching the never-before-seen official music video for Ramones – ‘She’s The One’ from the 1978 album ‘Road To Ruin’. ‘Road To Ruin’ just turned 40, and Rhino is celebrating the milestone with a 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition.